we have pet lesbian snakes
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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