I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
