Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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