would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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