So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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