worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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