That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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