Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
