dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
