i'm signing you up for texting rehab
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Randomize
