EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize