South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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