Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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