I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
