that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
