Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
