I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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