Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
