what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
