there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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