i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
