if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
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He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
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There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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