I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
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