Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
