so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
