your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
