Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
