he shaved USA in his pubs
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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