alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
