dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
