so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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