She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Couch. On fire.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
