his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
