It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
