I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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