Where did you get a picture of my penis
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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