I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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