I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Randomize
