Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
