Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize