Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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