I think I died a long time ago.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
