Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
