At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
