I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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