Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
