Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
