I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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