dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
two words: eviction party
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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