Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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