That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
