How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
