Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
