Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
