just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
