; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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