I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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