Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
